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 Joke: "The Shock Collar"
DMX512 Shock Collar Technical data sheet (for amusement only)
The DMX512 Shock Collar was designed to help lighting board operators wake up sleeping follow spot crew. It has been successfully used to alert flyrail personnel and stagehands that have fallen asleep backstage. A shocking reminder can now be sent directly from the lighting console. For habitual sleepers, alert cues can be conveniently programmed as part of the show. 
DMX512 Shock Collar
FEATURES: • One size fits all collar. • Plastic housing prevents corrosion from nervous perspiration. • DMX channel selection via front mounted switches. • Six levels of stimulation (mildly uncomfortable to very effective).
OPTIONS INCLUDE: • Hand held transmitter (for effective shocking when you're not at the console). • Training videos (highly informative and sadistically entertaining). • Custom Collars (in a variety of colors with your company's name and logo). • Designer Collars (bow tie models for formal shows, spiked collars for heavy metal). • Locking Collars (to prevent removal by wearer). • Dummy collar for crew people that have had enough experience with the real thing. (Just having one on keeps them wide awake) • Cattle prod (for anyone who won't put their collar on).
FINDING YOUR CREWPERSON'S SENSITIVITY LEVEL: Before using the DMX Shock Collar to train your crew, you should find their sensitivity level. Send a momentary stimulation from your console. See if the person raises their eyebrows, or quickly moves heir head. Usually there will be a quizzical expression on their face letting you know they have felt the stimulation. Work your way up through the different sensitivity levels from lowest to highest until you get the desired reaction from the wearer. If he/she yelps or screams when you send the stimulation, you have selected a level that is too high. This could disrupt an actual performance but would probably be okay during rehearsals.
It has been found that positive reinforcement complements the effectiveness of the DMX Shock Collar. Keep a case of Twinkies around to give crew members that did not require any correction during a show.
No animals were used or harmed during the development of the DMX Shock Collar. Our test subject, Greg, seems to be doing quite well in therapy.
UL, CSA, CE, USA, ACLU, and SPCA approvals not expected.
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